So here is this Dude Mom's list of "wrong girl" warning signs for all my sons, especially the ones I haven't met, to help them find the right ones. Grandparents can thank me later.
1. She doesn't like your mother? She's history. Think about it... the girl says she loves you. Your mama birthed and raised you. That girl should kiss the ground your mother walks on, to thank her for creating such a wonderful man.
2. Is she scared of or intimidated by your mother? Tell her to grow a spine lickety-split, or put her out with next week's trash. Women who can't look your mother in the eyes are insecure women, and you'll spend a lifetime trying to fix them, to no avail.
3. Does your gal complain about the kind of car you drive? Dump her. Dude, it's your car. If she wants a fancy car, tell her to buy her own. You're saving your money for a house for your future family. The right girl will appreciate that.
4. Does your dream girl spend more than you do on jeans and shoes? She needs to go. A man's jeans and shoes are the first thing other men look at when they meet. It's a manly-man thing. They matter. Clothes on a woman don't matter. (Clothes off a woman matter.)
5. Does she tell you she loves you just the way you are, and then try to change your hair, your clothes, your speech, your habits and your man cave? Run, man, run! She WILL love you, when you are just the way she wants you to be. And that ain't you, dude, so get outta there pronto, tonto!
6. Does she get jealous easily? She will after a month, a year and a marriage certificate. Secure women rock. Insecure women just get more insecure with age. No amount of Botox will help. If they don't feel beautiful, they won't be. Women must believe it, to be it. Hasta!
7. Does she dig guy sports? Will she sit down and watch them with you, without demanding you pay attention to her? If it's a no, she's a no. Personally, women who like football are the greatest. But I was raised on real Madden football: I witnessed John's record-breaking legacy with the then-great Oakland Raiders. The right woman will love your sports, too, or at least put up with them without whining.
8. How does she treat bus boys, waitresses and barristas? If she's rude, talks down to them or treats them as lowly, she will treat you that way someday, when you don't live up to her expectations. God and the Constitution said we are all equal. Superiority is a warning sign of more trouble later, when she turns it on you. Exit now, Stage Left.
9. Does she need expensive gifts, fancy clothes or lots of "stuff" to be happy or feel loved? She's riding your money train, hon, and she'll ride some else's when yours dries up. If she buys her own bling, but to excess? If the UPS man is at her front door more than you are, the two of you will never own your own door.
10. When you get sick, get in trouble, or have a crisis, who ya gonna call? Can she step in and take the reins? Men are strong and capable, yes, but life happens. Finding a woman who can take over when you've skinned your knees is priceless. The right girl will be as capable as you are, in all the ways that matter, when you need her to.
Just like your mama was.
1. She doesn't like your mother? She's history. Think about it... the girl says she loves you. Your mama birthed and raised you. That girl should kiss the ground your mother walks on, to thank her for creating such a wonderful man.
2. Is she scared of or intimidated by your mother? Tell her to grow a spine lickety-split, or put her out with next week's trash. Women who can't look your mother in the eyes are insecure women, and you'll spend a lifetime trying to fix them, to no avail.
3. Does your gal complain about the kind of car you drive? Dump her. Dude, it's your car. If she wants a fancy car, tell her to buy her own. You're saving your money for a house for your future family. The right girl will appreciate that.
4. Does your dream girl spend more than you do on jeans and shoes? She needs to go. A man's jeans and shoes are the first thing other men look at when they meet. It's a manly-man thing. They matter. Clothes on a woman don't matter. (Clothes off a woman matter.)
5. Does she tell you she loves you just the way you are, and then try to change your hair, your clothes, your speech, your habits and your man cave? Run, man, run! She WILL love you, when you are just the way she wants you to be. And that ain't you, dude, so get outta there pronto, tonto!
6. Does she get jealous easily? She will after a month, a year and a marriage certificate. Secure women rock. Insecure women just get more insecure with age. No amount of Botox will help. If they don't feel beautiful, they won't be. Women must believe it, to be it. Hasta!
7. Does she dig guy sports? Will she sit down and watch them with you, without demanding you pay attention to her? If it's a no, she's a no. Personally, women who like football are the greatest. But I was raised on real Madden football: I witnessed John's record-breaking legacy with the then-great Oakland Raiders. The right woman will love your sports, too, or at least put up with them without whining.
8. How does she treat bus boys, waitresses and barristas? If she's rude, talks down to them or treats them as lowly, she will treat you that way someday, when you don't live up to her expectations. God and the Constitution said we are all equal. Superiority is a warning sign of more trouble later, when she turns it on you. Exit now, Stage Left.
9. Does she need expensive gifts, fancy clothes or lots of "stuff" to be happy or feel loved? She's riding your money train, hon, and she'll ride some else's when yours dries up. If she buys her own bling, but to excess? If the UPS man is at her front door more than you are, the two of you will never own your own door.
10. When you get sick, get in trouble, or have a crisis, who ya gonna call? Can she step in and take the reins? Men are strong and capable, yes, but life happens. Finding a woman who can take over when you've skinned your knees is priceless. The right girl will be as capable as you are, in all the ways that matter, when you need her to.
Just like your mama was.
No comments:
Post a Comment